Here is what sometimes happens when I ask Scarlett to choose a book to read. She goes into her room, and returns with my 368-page paperback copy of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. “This.”

“Why was that in your room?” I ask.

She shrugs. “It’s mine.”

Then she climbs into my lap and flips pages until we get to the illustrations of parents saying the “wrong” and “right” things to their children. Scarlett particularly enjoys the sections where a parent is nagging a kid about something, like leaving a door open or not feeding the dog. I do the nagging, and then she reads the recommended approach in a singsong voice. “Johnny, the dog.”

I bought the book when she was two, and it had nothing to do with my ALS. I wanted to make sure that as she grew, we continued to have a relationship that was open and candid. I wanted to answer her questions in ways that would encourage her to keep asking them (although the book advises responding to many questions with the line, “What do you think?” and when I try that, Scarlett becomes apoplectic.) Read More>